|How Do I Stop This?|
1. Read through this site and maybe some of the books and other web sites that have been recommended and decide that what is happening to you is WRONG and it’s NOT your fault. Please note that while you are not responsible for the abuse perpetrated upon you, you are responsible and accountable for your own wilful, sinful actions during this time. Please read an excerpt from the AACC Christian Counselling Code of Ethics.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”—1 John 1:9
2. Get away—ALONE—for a few hours or days to think things through. (Do NOT do this if you are suicidal!) Go somewhere you can’t be reached by the perpetrator, but give your husband (or someone close to you) the phone number where you can be reached in case of emergencies. Pray for God’s wisdom and help. Usually this will help you clear your mind so you can rationalize better and see the situation for what it truly is—ABUSE—not “love.”
3. Decide how to end it and DO it. DON’T meet in person alone!! Write a note or take a friend with you. If you meet privately, you will only give him the opportunity to manipulate you and the situation again. He has already played on your emotions enough to get you to this point. Don’t allow him to continue.
4. Tell your husband, significant other or someone. (See “How do I tell my husband?”)
5. Understand that you cannot be “friends” with your perpetrator after you have been abused. You must sever all ties. He was never truly your “friend” in the first place or he would never have done this to you.
6. Get professional counselling from a therapist of the same sex (male for male, female for female).